The Luxury of Eating
For those of you who don't know, I've been an active blogger for the past 5 years (wow - how time flies!) If you refer back to my previous posts, I primarily wrote my personal opinions of places to wine and dine, dance & lounge, and get pampered. Let's say, I've always been a big foodie.
I started chemotherapy in the Fall of 2014. I started with a therapy that wouldn't cause the side effects that chemo historically presents (i.e. hair loss, loss of appetite, fatigue, vomiting, etc.) Unfortunately, that drug didn't improve my situation the way we'd hoped which led my doctor to resort to prescribing me with one of the bad chemo drugs.
I'll be completely honest, when I learned that I could lose my appetite and lose weight - I was way too excited (such a girl!) I had gained some unwanted weight from the long-term use of steroids and was relieved that I'd shed weight effortlessly with the new chemo pills.
Overall, I've been tolerating the medications really well. I'd like to think it's because I'm a tough cookie ;) But seriously, the only things I experienced really were fatigue and minor hair loss. However, things have radically changed in the past couple of weeks. I've drastically lost my appetite and haven't been able to eat a proper meal ever since. I'm no MD but I'm assuming that the drugs are getting comfortable in my system and showering me with their not so pleasant side effects.
I never feel like eating anymore and if I do eat, it's because I'm force feeding myself to gain some energy to function. On a good day, I've consumed 900ish calories. On top of that, nothing tastes good anymore. I tested my taste buds/appetite this week by treating myself to one of my favorites - CHICKEN WINGS - and with great sadness, I report that I could barely finish 2. This was extremely upsetting because the old me gobbled down 10 wings in 10 minutes with great pride! I kid you not, I love chicken wings so much that some people refer to me as a chicken wing.
Am I getting thinner? Yes. Did I want to lose weight? Absolutely. But did I realize that the inability to enjoy and consume food would have a direct impact on my overall well being and happiness? Not at all :/
The point of me writing this post is to relay how beautiful of a luxury it is to taste and eat food without even thinking twice about it. Oftentimes, we take what seem to be, the littlest things for granted. I've certainly been guilty of it and only now am I learning to appreciate little luxuries because they're being stripped of me. I never thought I'd see the day when I couldn't eat let alone drink water without difficulty but I'm learning, life is completely unpredictable.
I'm leaving for my epic, spiritual Asian adventure in 12 days. One of the things I've been looking forward to is the delicious food I'll have the privilege of eating. Here's hoping that I can still enjoy the food and come back completely satisfied! Please love the act of eating and remember to eat your next delicious meal on my behalf! ;) Hugs and kisses to you all. Flower