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30th Birthday Poem (W/O rhymes)

WOW, I’m 30. I could vent about how traumatic my 20s were between losing our family home to a fire, the devastating series of events that massacred the dynamics of my nuclear family, getting diagnosed with a rare and incurable illness, or losing a few friends to premature deaths BUT, I’d rather focus on the quirks & lesser known things I discovered / experienced over the last 10 years…
The volume of my snoring is not commensurate to my size At home, you’ll find me sporting colorful muumuus and grannie panties My mother alleges I have full-blown conversations and practice karate in my sleep My skincare regimen includes 8-steps yet I never care to remove my makeup after a night out The perfect night includes my blankie, a true crime documentary/Real Housewives/any JLo movie, and falling asleep before 9 PM 💤
I avoid revolving doors, porta potties, and gutters at all costs I have emetophobia, misophonia, and arithmomania (look them up) I have zero tolerance for ignorance, bigotry, misogy…

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