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A Dichotomous Swirl of Emotions + Experiences

It’s been four very eventful years. There are too many feels attached to saying that. On the one hand, four years has felt like a never-ending, grueling, uphill battle. On the other hand, it feels like an accomplishment to have come so far and still be standing, literally and figuratively.
*** Each year since the initial onset has been so different. Every year was accompanied by a myriad of medical issues that have affected virtually every aspect of my life - physically, emotionally, viscerally, and socially. Referencing year #3’s “NMOversary” post, Desperate to be in Denial Yet Painfully Aware, I can’t dispute that the underlying sentiment remains unchanged; I am still very much all over the place. I’m also really tired.

I had an epiphany a few weeks ago - I realized that I haven’t felt genuinely happy in a long time. Initially, I couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning for the void but then it dawned on me and eventually made sense. I had a fantastic summer 2017 - I was feeling good and fina…

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